The Ode of the Octopus (1905)
I am a kind of octopus,I stretch surprisin' lengths of it ;
I want the trade of all the urth--
I only hold nine-tenths of it.
The other tenth I'm chasin' up,
None else shall get his paws on it;
Don't care what tariff dodge they try,
I'm bound to get my claws on it. No power on urth can stop my plans--
I've roped the whole caboodle.
I've got the cinch on Uncle Sam,
An' plucked the Yankee doodle.
In other climes I've proved I can
Control the whole creation.
I now propose to top the job
By tyin' up your nation. So let 'em come, I'm buzzum friend
To Commonwealth Free Traders.
They hold the door ajar for us--
The bom industrial raiders.
On free trade I am sound except
Whar' my base is affected.
At home I'm solid an' secure--
My wares are well pertected. To try to check my growth an' grab
Is simple nonsense, clotted.
I'll spank the helms of all my foes,
An' leave 'em tightly knotted.
My motto is to tightly hold.
All I've already got of it,
Then reach out shyly for the rest
An' hog the dogammed lot of it. N.B. Notes From the Federal Weekly The Critic 27 Sep 1905 p. 12.