Jones's Ale
| The rush of Labour candidates for the vacant seat down Collingwood way is abnormal. Nearly all the trades in the Directory are represented in the scrum-and there are enough of them to constitute a little Trades-hall of their own. No doubt, everyone is a good artisan, but all are equally anxious to chuck their jobs for the law-making game, and all, I have no doubt, are about equally fit for it. If the electors do not want their laws made with a pick and shovel, they may have them shaped on an anvil, hammered out on a last, double-stitched with a tailor's needle, dove-tailed on a carpenter's bench, tuck-pointed by a bricklayer, or chiselled by a mason. The procession of highly-qualified journeymen, from Collingwood's point of view, recalls an old Bacchanalian song:- |
The next that came in was a tinker,
And he was no small beer drinker,
And he was no small beer drinker
When Jones's ale was new.
For the sake of labour and labour's battle,
He'd tax the farmer and all his cattle;
Lor! how his furnace and tongs did rattle
When Jones's ale was new.
The next on the list was a mason,
With his hammer and chisel for facin',
With his hammer and chisel for facin',
When Jones's ale was new.
He said he'd hearkened to Labour's call,
So buildings and bridges and churches might fall,
Then be slung his old hammer against the wall
When Jones's ale was new.
And then there followed a tailor,
A painter, plumber, and sailor,
A butcher, baker, and nailer,
When Jones's ale was new.
The baker was crusty and soon ran hot.
The sailor jibed like a rudderless yacht.
And the butcher declared he could slaughter the lot.
When Jones's ale was new.
Notes
From the Melbourne newspaper the Australasian Saturday 13 July 1912 p. 36.
An earlier fragment of the song was published the Australasian Saturday 16 April 1892 p. 21.
"The first that came in was a tinker,
And he was no small beer drinker,
And he was no small beer drinker,
When Jones's ale was new.
He cursed his donkey and all such cattle,
Swore that none but the rich should go to battle.
Lord! how his hammer and tongs did rattle
When Jones's ale was new."
See also Simon McDonald's version of Jones's Ale in this collection.